Writing Prompt: Erotic Clue

I'm turning into a pumpkin for the next couple of weeks, so I thought I'd leave y'all with a writing prompt inspired by a recurring conversation on Twitter: erotic fiction, of 500 words or less, employing a creative twist on the board game Clue (such as this gem from @mharvey816: "bum love in the shed with the garden gnome"). Let's try to keep the usual no-nos in mind: No sex with relatives, animals, dead people, underage people, or people who have not consented to it. Other than that, be as kinky or vanilla as your muse takes you. Post it on your blog, including a link to this prompt, then come back here and post a link to your entry in the comments. I'll check in on 5/17, once I'm back in the land of the living, and see what everyone came up with.

Happy writing!